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Old 01-22-2009, 07:05 AM
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GiveLove
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
spooner, do you go to Al-Anon meetings, or work any kind of recovery program for yourself? That's where I learned to clarify what I was willing and able to put up with, and what I wasn't.

If you think he is drinking again, he probably is.....but it will become clear soon enough. Try not to awfulize, think the worst, before something actually happens. (My dad used to say "It's not time to worry yet.") But it IS time to think about the choices available to you. The question is whether you want to live with an active alcoholic again? Is that good for you? There is no answer to the question 'how many relapses do you put up with.' There's only "how many relapses -- and all the stress and unhappiness that go with them -- does spooner put up with?"

And as for being "supportive" --- if he wants to drink, he's going to drink whether you're "supportive" or not. You've already been supportive so far, right, and still it looks like he may still have relapsed? Try not to use that as an excuse to stay in an unhappy situation. Best wishes to you - focus on you, and what you want for your life.
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