I can totally relate to what you're saying gneiss...
ananda has hit it on the head for me though, it is about getting those skills back, and practice....
I too lost a lot of mates when i started trying to clean up, most of my "friends" were just fellow addicts, all we had in common was getting wasted together.
I also alienated a lot of real friends by isolating myself and being a bit of an idiot.
I came out of it with just a couple of real friends, who stuck by me...
I find social situations very difficult without my crutch of alcohol / other substances, but i'm learning...
Things like AA and the buddhist centre have been really good places to meet people whose lives don't revolve around alcohol, and i've made some really good friends there.
In sobriety i find when i make a friendship with someone there's a real connection there, cheesy as that sounds!