gneiss

I was just thinking last night that the withdrawal and such is not so bad, but the fact that my friends suddenly disappeared is what really hit me hard. I suspect it's not the addiction so much for a lot of people, but the loneliness that makes them start again. They think, "It will be fine, I'll just go say hi," and *BAM* next thing they know they're drinking again.

I always knew they were drinking buddies, not *friends* but they were still my social circle. I don't blame the friends I had for not wanting much to do with me; I neglected them for so long in favor of drugs and booze they really don't have a reason to hang out with me. I actually am thinking about going to AA or NA meetings just for the social interaction.

There are clubs on campus for just about anything; the hard part is figuring out when and where they meet. The downside of clubs on campus is that they are dominated by 21-and-under students and I'm getting old, by comparison. But there are both grad student and non-traditional student associations, so perhaps those would be a good place to start. I used to be so good at walking into a room full of people I don't know and finding someone to hang out with. Now I don't seem to have those skills any more and I get kind of nervous about it. But... better to be a little uncomfortable than get lonely and go seek out drug buddies.