Hi Mindybadger, welcome to the forum!
First... yes, go to al-non.
Second... You say you put up with this for over 2 years. He probably can't solve a two year (at least) problem in 28 days. Recovery from alchoholism involves a life change, not just detox. You're probably not going to be able to look to him to meet your needs just yet. He's still struggling with himself. Your 6 month goal may be more reasonable. I've read that addicts may actually go through a "grieving" process. Perhaps his distance may be explained that way.
I hope you have friends and activities of your own that do not depend on his involvement. If not, get some. You cannot live in someone else's addiction or recovery.
In what way is he behaving irresponsibly? Has he joined a support group, or does he have aftercare of any sort?
In many rehab programs, patients are told they must give up their friends who they imbibed with as well as the settings and situations in which they chose to drink or use. For many addicts that defines most of their world. Just imagine if you had most of your familiar friends and environs suddenly forbidden to you. I think for me it would take a lot more than a couple of months adjustment to get on an even emotional keel.
You coped with the alchohol for two years. I'll bet he wasn't meeting your needs then either. Don't look to him for your strength, yet. Find an al-anon group, keep reading and keep posting. We will be here for you, while he can't. Only you can decide if he's worth waiting for.
Smoke