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Old 01-12-2009, 07:58 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
winnie12
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
I have a friend who is having marital problems - she and her husband have struggled over the last couple of years to stay together - in counseling - everything. She will talk to me about the problems and i tried to help for a while. That is until i found out that she has been carrying on an affair for years - her husband doesnt know and she doesnt know that i do. There's no way her marriage can work if her heart is in two places and i just cant hear her bs anymore about how hard she is working but he isnt. So I just keep my mouth shut and my distance for now. When her husband finally finds out (and he will find out) her marriage will be over and i'll be there for her but i cant offer help while she is in denial about what her real marriage issues are. She is in for a really hard fall but she's going to have to learn that on her own - me telling her that she is screwing up will not make her stop and would probably ruin our friendship so i'll wait till she has learned what she needs to and needs my shoulder to cry on.

We all learned the hard way that if nothing changes nothing changes - she'll have to learn this on her own as well and when she does she'll need you - right now she probably still thinks she can control it.
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