Ultimatums
I see a lot of people on this board giving ultimatums. Do you follow through or is it just a way to vent your frustrations at the alcholic? I have been through 24 years and three kids with mine. I have never given an ultimatum unless prepared to back it up. I seem to have great success with this. Of course, I just got divorced from him after 16 years of marriage, but who says we can't ever get remarried. Right now I need the time for my healing. And surprising enough, he went on a binge for a bit but has now been sober for 2 weeks. He says it's hard and he has to go not day to day but second to second. It was and is scary, but I know I will survive. Everything has been very amicable mainly because I have taken the high road and refuse to argue. I am working on changing myself and I think he sees this and wants to come along with me. The kids are all doing great and not falling apart. That was the one thing I worried about most. (They are all straight A students and involved with school a lot.) I do believe it has been better for them NOT seeing their father passed out on the couch all the time. He will always be their Dad and I will NOT stop them from a relationship with him, but he will not be around drunk because that is not spending time with them. He has been over most every night sober to visit the kids and do things around the house, but I told him I'm not holding my breath. The whole mood has changed for the better.