I am thankful for the responses, even though I seem not to be sometimes. I am exasperated. Rehabs here that aren't paid for are very hard to get into and make the addict call and call and call just to get in, further more they don't take people on methadone, I found one out of town but you have to pay.. he cannot go off methadone he lives in chronic pain...it is the only pain management that he has...Doctors won't give him painkillers...I will likely have to leave. Getting a restraining order is a hard thing to do unless someone has already hurt you. I've asked the police about that too. Anyways what is to say he wouldn't get someone else to harm me?
Yes I had a relationship with this person, 11 years ago we were together, he was clean when I met him...I have not had intimate relationship with him for 5 years or even more and before that 5 years we were not very intimate, it was not a good relationship...I have dated other people, he knew that, he met one of them...although nothing but guilt and him begging him to live me and then not leave when I want him to go...He has been sick since 2006, and before that was not well but in 2006 I noticed he started to become very ill. I went away in 2007 because he would not get medical help. we went to the hospital once and they didn't help him, they said the sores on his body were from drugs and him picking them, they didn't help...he actually was getting staph I think at that point, he had a blister that wouldn't go away for a long time...they told him to get a family doctor, I gave him names, he never would call, I made an appointment, he didnt go...so I left, exasperated...that's when he landed in the hospital and they did the surgeries. He was living on the street..welfare put him in a hotel, he got sick, flooded the bathtub in the hotel room, and called me while I was on the road travelling cross country and asked me to call him an ambulance.
He is too sick to take care of himself, he can barely walk, he is in pain all the time, he had surgeries last year and the doctors did a number on him which is why he won't go back to the hospital, he needs more skin graphs. They skin graphed his arm and leg and the wounds are not healing well but he doesn't treat them right and I think that is a problem. His arm doesn't work. He complains that my dog is giving him fleas that burrow in to his wounds and he won't go to the hospital with "macros" as he calls them on his wounds. My dog is on the best flea program available, I sleep beside her everynight and don't have any flea bites, not one. He thinks the doctors will disrespect him because he has Hep C and they will say he's a junkie and has fleas and macros in his wounds.
I have asked him not to get stuff delivered here, I have asked him to leave, I bug him about going to the hospital everyday. Now I've even offered to pay for private surgeon which incidentally I can't really afford, to get him medical help. He is in bed all day long. He can't do laundry, or clean or pick up after himself. About 1-2 days a month he gets some reprieve and can actually move around for a few hours.
I feed him, do his laundry, pick up after him, clean everything myself, and today he said I'm renegging on my word when I ask him to go elsewhere to live which I keep saying he should do, because all he does is complain about my dog, and that I don't sanitize the house enough...and he hates my cooking. I guess at one point I said OK to taking care of him after he got out of the hospital, in fact, I moved back across the country to help, but I figured he would at least be getting medical help by now, 1 and a half years after the surgery. And at that time I didn't realize he would never be able to function normally again. I mean what do you do if your friend/ex boyfriend is sick with cancer? or some other disease, like become crippled? Do you leave that person without help?
I'm just trying to live my life and have a hard enough time making my living, keeping up with the housework and taking care of my dog. I'm not wonder woman, maybe some one else is, but I'm not. I never was. I'm not that good at dealing with stress I guess. I just want it to be me, my life, my home, my money...I can't do anything for myself anymore all my money is spent, I'd like to go to a dentist, take a course, see a therapist but I can't afford it. I can't afford movies, skiing, any of the things I used to enjoy. I feel selfish because when you're a good friend you take care of a sick friend, I think he still thinks we are together or something but then he complains about our relationship. I'm his friend and that is all I've just been trying to get by and be a friend that's all.
Yes I'll have to get the money together to leave...I have to hide my money somehow...