Although my thinking has done a 180 in NA about the need for a lot of the suggested "rules" that our very strong-willed secretary trys to impose on the group (and is usually voted down), this one about time-sharing still brings up some questions:
Fr'instance, sometimes people come into NA, who through no fault of their own, are afflicted with mental disorders that make them ramble on for the whole meeting, oblivious to the needs or discomfort of others, about any old thing that pops into their disturbed mind. If that was allowed to continue, week after week, taking up the entire time alloted for sharing each meeting, would the meeting ultimately survive, or would it fold due to increased non-attendance? I think it would fold.
Should we allow one person's personality or schizophrenic disorder to outweigh the needs of the group? How would the people possessing experience, strength and hope about recovery from addiction pass any of that on in the above described meeting? I don't think anyone can have any type of gathering without some rules, guidelines, or whatever you want to call them, "social strictures, if you must.
If you say, "no rules at all in NA", then should we allow physical threats to members, or even violence? What about breaking up the borrowed chairs in the church basement you meet at? Would you allow that in the spirit of group process? If we don't allow that, isn't that a rule? I'm not for over-governing. I also can't agree that "anything goes."
For example, at one meeting I used to attend, pets started being brought in for the duration. Some are allergic to pets, so they stopped going. For me, I can't be in a room full of smoke without being ill the next day, so I'm glad that smoking is now usually relegated to the outside the meeting. These are examples of rules that I think are necessary to keep us together, to meet all of our needs for safety.
I like the saying "Your rights end where my nose begins." In other words, if your habits and behavior aren't messing up the meeting for others, then we shouldn't try to make rules about it. I'm totally against people getting involved in telling members not to get up, or to text during meetings. How does that disturb anyone but the texter (and that's their decision/problem if they miss the message)?
I also now disagree with rules against bringing children to open meetings. As long as they don't disturb the meeting, they should be free, and welcomed, to come along.
NA meetings are autonomous. They can make their own guidelines based on their own conscience. Nowhere in the literature does it say "anything goes" unless I missed something.
Just something to consider, just my opinion, not meant to offend, but merely to provoke thought and hopefully, intelligent discussion.
Love,
KJ