Orchid,
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us.
I'd encourage you to set aside some time and read some of the threads here. Learn about the different faces of alcoholism, how it can play out, how it progresses. Read especially the "Sticky" posts at the top of the forum, especially Classic Reading. Educate yourself about what you're up against.
The thing is, when he is sober he is everything to me. We're inseparable and so in love. When he drinks, he turns into a monster. A whole different person that I don't even know.
This is a chorus echoed by many, many, many people in this forum. Unfortunately, he's not staying sober. He's making the choice to unleash this monster. And this monster can hurt you.
Let me ask you: Do you think it's normal for someone to threaten to kill their girlfriend? To hit them? To continue to drink heavily even when they've permanently altered their body with a drunken accident? If a good friend or a much-loved niece or sister came to you and told you this same story, what advice would you give them? Stay and risk it really happening?
I'm sure when he's sober he's swell. Most of them are. The problem is, you don't GET just Dr. Jekyll. At this point, until and unless he decides to remain permanently sober ---- NO more social drinking, ever, as in never ---- you will be signing up for Mr. Hyde as well.
Are you prepared for this? Is he?
Keep the restraining order in place and work on yourself. Find out why you are willing to tolerate so much...hitting....threats....irresponsibility....a ll the anxiety of being with an alcoholic. The book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie has proven to be an eye-opener for a lot of us on this forum, and you can often get it at the Library or on abebooks.com for cheap.
You can't make him stop drinking - you can only protect your current and future selves from this. Good luck!