Originally Posted by
Rose56 
These are the things that bother me:
He has "given up" on having a solid job, and believes that he is off the hook, what my dad would say is a case of "they owes it to me". He is unwilling to go through any training that might lead to a dependable job, and also unwilling to accept a low paying job. In the past 10 years he has worked for three periods, each lasting from 1.5 - 2years. Otherwise he has been unemployed. His not working is a HUGE trigger for me.
He accepts little responsibility for the things that happen in his life, and I accept too much. Nothing is his fault, whereas I see everything as my fault or more to the point I can influence what happens in my world.
You've known him for 26 years, right? Now look at his job history you just stated over the past 10 years.
I'd say that's progression, no? People assume the 'progression' is with the alcohol only, but it can also be of other behaviors (besides the drinking) and attitudes.
He may very well accept
no responsibility eventually for the things that happen in his life at some point down the road.
I know in watching the progression with my oldest AD, who by the way is not drinking right now because she's on a plethora of medications that keep her in an altered state of mind, the blame game and rationalizations have increased tenfold over the years.