If you are content with your situation, rose, then why would you consider changing it? What bothers you about your current life, other than the philosophical angle of "he shouldn't do that" ?[/QUOTE]
Thanks GiveLove & TC for the validation, I was starting to doubt myself.
These are the things that bother me:
He has "given up" on having a solid job, and believes that he is off the hook, what my dad would say is a case of "they owes it to me". He is unwilling to go through any training that might lead to a dependable job, and also unwilling to accept a low paying job. In the past 10 years he has worked for three periods, each lasting from 1.5 - 2years. Otherwise he has been unemployed. His not working is a HUGE trigger for me.
He accepts little responsibility for the things that happen in his life, and I accept too much. Nothing is his fault, whereas I see everything as my fault or more to the point I can influence what happens in my world.
I feel distant from him, not emotionally close.
I can't share frustrations with him, because instead of listening, he starts ranting about how the world is messed up, people are mostly out to &*($% you etc.
He is sometimes grumpy and nasty when drinking, no fun to be around.
He goes through periods when he drinks mostly from home and then he drinks 3 times a week at bars. I hate it both ways.
TC, you hit it on the head, in his free time, drinking is THE priority. I like what you said about drinking to ease the pain only leads to more drinking.
Thanks, this had helped me to clarify my thoughts.