Hi Jen....
You're struggling with something that I am also having a time with at the moment. When do we let our guard down and trust again? Once bitten, twice shy. I hope this was just a lapse, and not a sign of a relapse. As you said, you will know soon enough.
Please keep us posted. If you have good news, it will give the rest of us hope. If it's not so good, this is a good place to get things off your chest. Thanks for the update!
Smoke