Cherry,
Allow me to tell you of an all too recent experience. After about 100 days of sobriety, I fell off the wagon. I felt as if I totally failed and gave completely up on quitting. I drank 3 or 4 beers a night, thinking that wasn't too bad.
About six months later, I was drinking more on a regular basis than I ever have. The scary part came with realizing how much I had progressed. I could drink a pint of brandy, several beers, and wash it all down with a half pint of schnapps—but I didn't feel "drunk." So I drank more and more each night.
Now I am back. There is absolutely no question in my mind that an alcoholic will never be able to control the addiction. It will, without fail, progress until it kills us. I wake at 03:00 in the morning, sporting a fuzzy head and realizing this destiny. It just isn't worth it.