The Lord cares and so do we. You were around monsters for so long that you came to think you were one. You aren't. It took some good counseling for me to finally realize that I too had taken on the characteristics of my bizarre, abusive family, and that I could put my foot down and choose to be something completely different, day by day, minute by minute.
So glad you found us, mikefreak! Your life can be anything you want it to be....you can't change the past, but you can change where you put your foot down next. Left.....right......repeat
Good luck!