Thank you GL. I'm working on breathing. I think I will actually go to an al-anon meeting this time. I almost made it to my first meeting this summer while he was gone. I was literally stepping out the door...when he called. He asked me not to go. I didn't go. I will go this time. I will read the book and I think I may need to find a therapist.
It's weird. I feel like I'm finally getting to that place, that morning of reckoning, that knowledge that I have to leave the relationship, but I feel kind of paralyzed to DO anything. I feel so overwhelmed. I really didn't expect it to hit right now.
Perhaps you're right. Perhaps nothing needs to be done right now, this minute.
That helps.
When I do go home, of course we will be talking. I intend to tell him how I'm feeling and where I am emotionally. Is that fair? Is it right-minded? Is it a mixed message if I'm not also able to tell him to leave?
Seeking guidance...