The problem is...you can't really believe anything he TELLS you. They will say anything they think you want to hear. You'll know whats going on soon enough by his actions.
My exah went on methadone after two failed rehab attempts (heroin addiction). I absolutely HATED the idea of him getting on that stuff...I hated him for not just quitting...for not just putting our son and our family first. I ranted just like you are about why he couldn't just 'man up' and go thru the withdraws and move forward. Go ahead and rant...go ahead and be as mad as hell...because you have every right to be.
The thing is...about the methadone...(if he really is on it)...is that his recovery has to be on his terms. Its all about him. Just like addiction is a completely selfish disease...so is recovery. Let him do it his way. I hated the methadone and my exah was on it for about 4 years and recently switched to suboxone and he's doing really well lately. He swears the methadone saved his life...I think its the cowards way out...but what I think doesn't really matter. I used to think that was insane...that I had every right to have an opinion about what he should be doing seeing as we were married and have a child together and everything...but it wasn't until I could learn to just let go and leave him to his own way of doing things that I found any PEACE in my life.
You have every right to your feelings. Just try, if you can, to put your energy and focus on YOU and your kids and leave him to find his own way out of this mess. I know its still very early on in the process...and the whole idea of leaving him alone with his problem seems counter-intuitive...especially you're probably the 'fixer' in your relationship...the one who jumps in to make things right...but this addiction is absolutely, positively, 100% beyond your ability to fix. THe only person you can save is yourself...and your precious children.
I feel so bad for you. I know how hard it is to have your world collapse suddenly...I hope you find strength on this forum...
Sending hugs and strength and wishes that your find peace in 2009 no matter what direction your ah may take.