So sorry but i laughed at your rant - how many times have i heard a similar statement come out of my mouth. Anger is not always a bad emotion to feel and i dont think you need to apologize - especially to us. Anger tells us something is wrong or dangerous and its part of the grief process which you are going through over this loss. You are doing amazingly well and I'm proud of you - where you are right now has taking some of us months and years to get to.
Myself when i feel like that - I like scream therapy - usually I do it in the car (cause neighbors may call police if they heard us screaming at home). My daughter likes to join in with me. When we are so mad about this stuff we just scream at the top of our lungs and it feels great. The other thing we do is "shake it off" she actually likes that one better. We just stand up and shake our bodies uncontrollably until we're dizzy and laughing. Its great therapy and helps to release those feelings of anger or sadness. Anytime she is crying or upset about her dad or her brother - we talk it through and when we're done i say "now shake it off." She'll be laying on the floor laughing her head off in no time - especially when she watches her goofy mom doing it.