I found it helpful to research this to understand "what I was up against" and being with an active alcoholic shook my entire foundation of what "reality" was, practicing alcoholics HAVE to manipulate you, have to undermine you, they can't help it, and I walked around thinking I was crazy, i mean literally crazy, because my "reality" didn't "match" what was happening on a daily basis.
Alcoholics are masters of the "double bind" such as saying "I love you" then cheating on you and abusing you, until you believe that is love, being hurt and betrayed.
OK, the moment I realized that this was indeed happening to me, and that I wasn't crazy, I dove into my recovery as if my life depended on it.
Freedom/Devon was amazingly helpful getting me refocused a few times, she saved my butt, and she was right.
So, we have this "problem", we know what "this is", and what this "looks like" now "what do we do"?
Don't get me wrong, I needed the validation, I needed the support, but my life didn't get better until I took "control" of MY recovery.