I agree, whatever works for any particular person(i.e. staying sober) is the bottom line. I know people, and myself, who require more than the bottom line. For me, spiritual growth (by that I mean having a quality relationship with the most important thing in my life) is essential, without it I may be sober but waiting for the
next relapse. I must grow or die. Why be dry and miserable?
So to have that real intimacy necessary for that spiritual growth, I had to let go of that old self and construct a new one.
My old self would revel in each accomplishment (good or bad) as proof of my omnipotence. Loss after loss after loss, yet I would not see how I was Mr. Hyde.
Finally, after admitting to my innermost self I could not manage life as I had been living it, I let go, surrendered, whatever you wish to call it and my entire life changed in ways I could not have dreamed of, all positive (sometimes I make a lot of "lemonade" though).
Anyway, just want to say, in my case (I can only reflect from my experience) I had to let go to something beyond myself to find myself. Things have happened in my life which defy coincidence (hence noco..) all wonderful. That is what it takes for me, that's the type of ego which can return if I do not "place principles before personalities".
To tell someone the way they stay sober is wrong would indicate I have not come very far at all in my recovery.....
So, whatever it takes is whatever it takes...words can only get in the way sometimes!
