Whoa! Where did the "gloom and doom" come from? At thirty days (congrats, btw), I was just beginning to realize what a miracle it was that I was clean. Much cause for joyous celebration--of the non-chemical kind!
In the rooms, we do hear and talk about the hopelessness of addiction--but not hopelessness of recovery. Reminders are necessary, as we seem to have, in addition to the illness of addiction, faulty memories. Or good forgeters, whichever term you prefer.
The rehabs urge 90 in 90 as a means to reprogram our habits. I can't find any fault in that advice. So long as a sponsor is sought out in that 90 days and step work begins, it's a fruitful practice. Soon enough, life will fill up, bringing with it blessings and responsibilities (not that the two are exclusive) that may or may not allow for a meeting every day. Hopefully, those fellowship connections will extend outside of the rooms.
There have been many Sundays of football viewing, Thursday night poker games, and holiday dinners filled with our recovering/recovered friends from the rooms in my home. There have been van loads of folks going on road trips that don't have anything to do with a meeting at the other end (though I can't say that one hasn't sprung up inside the vehicle). Jobs, education, planting a garden, playing hockey, community service, love, family, pets, going on vacations--all happens outside of the rooms.
Close, committed attention to recovery, to taking the steps, to cleaning up the wreckage of the past and learning to live in the light each day sets the stage for all of these things. I wouldn't want to take my addict ego into a community organization. Hell, I'd either try to take it over, scheme to unseat someone, or stomp out in disgust. I sure wouldn't want to take my fears into a new relationship. Some things are quite literally require "on the job training," such as, well, jobs, raising kids (if you already have them), that sort of thing. Other stuff--hey, this is the perfect opportunity to learn to do things differently. Embrace it!
I went back to school two years clean/sober. I waited a semester to get involved in any organizations. I was fortunate to be able to wait the same length of time to become employed (I was wheelchair bound on disability when I got clean). Not all are so fortunate. But we go forward, use our program in all our affairs, and do the best we can.
Every moment of the day need not be spent discussing today's Just for Today reading, though ideally, those principles we put in our pockets through taking the steps will be brought out to apply to every moment, explicitly or implicitly.
Gloom and doom is 29 and a half days behind you now! Have a little joy in that miracle, will ya?
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Last edited by Sugah; 12-17-2008 at 09:41 AM.