If ex is staying out all night, hanging around druggie friends, doing nothing, and causing son more seperation anxiety every time he leaves, doesn't come home etc... It would probably be best to get the ex out of there as quick as possible, when son isn't there. Let him come and visit son.
You have come to far to let him set you back, and the boundaries outtolunch outlined can be a great start. You don't need to be made to feel like a b@tch in your own home. You don't need to feel annoyed at his irresponsiblities in your own home. He's not your problem, and his problems cannot become your problems. Let him go before he completely drags you down.
Kitty, This is a hard thing and I only hope the ex doesn't give you any problems leaving.
His mother called and asked me not to argue with him. She's afraid he will go out and use drugs and not come home for a visit after Christmas.
Again, not your problem weather he shows up for a visit after Christmas to moms or not, and if he uses or has used already it's not your fault.
Hoping for the best,
NH7