A sense of entitlement
What I'm dealing with:
My ex is still at my house, sleeping in his son's bedroom. He got out of jail nearly 2 weeks ago. He came over to see his son and he never left. He's not working or making any attempts to find a job. I was trying to be kind and let him stay through his next court date (Dec. 29th) but he’s making it really difficult. I thought he might be able to pitch in and help with a few around the house projects I have – like caulking the bathrooms – but he’s really not into it. Twice now, he’s gone out at night, and not come back til the next day.
He’s not using drugs (or so he says, and he doesn’t seem hungover when he gets back) but it’s very disturbing to my son who gets very upset every time his daddy leaves because he is worried that he will never come back. It also really annoys me because I am a fulltime parent and I have yet to catch a break or get an evening out even though his father has come to stay.
At first my son was very concerned everytime his father left the house. He would cry because he didn't think daddy was coming back. So I started telling him that Daddy comes and goes and Daddy is looking for his own house. And his daddy would love him no matter where he lived. And that we would go visit him when he did find his own house. That seems to have quieted his fears a little. And I also think that my son may be catching on to his fathers ways - realizing that his father is totally unreliable. Because , ysterday my son surprised me on the way home from work. He asked if his father would be at home. And then he said "I know momma, he comes and goes."
His father is pretty much a playmate to his son and that's all. I've been very sick so it was helpful to have someone there to entertain my child, but now having him in my house is really starting to annoy me. He lays on the couch and does nothing. He has no initiative. He has this attitude of entitlement and when I ask him what his plans are or I express my frustration to him, he just acts like I’m being a bitch and tells me he’ll find somewhere else to stay. But that’s about it. He hasn't actually made a permanent move to find somewhere else to stay. He just comes and goes when he wants and acts like I’m being a nasty beyatch when I ask him to help out or if he’s going to be around when I get home from work.
He has been hanging with his old "druggie" friends. He says they aren't using anymore. He told his mother that he had to re-acquaint himself with his old friends because I wouldn't let him stay us and he had to find somewhere to live. His mother called and asked me not to argue with him. She's afraid he will go out and use drugs and not come home for a visit after Christmas.
Anyway, sorry to post so long. I need to get this out so I can get a grip and make a move. It's easier to set boundaries and make an action plan when I see how ridiculous the situation looks on paper.
ERGH!