rita123- good luck with your journey! i have walked that same path. except i am a non A. my xrabf is. he destroyed, isolated everything around him. he has a process to go through like you that i will not probably ever understand. take it day by day and remember ...easy does it! as for the ex and kids (which i know all too well also), as long as he shows you or makes you comfortable with it that is the key but if he doesnt give you any sense of security in his relations with the ex then you should have a discussion. i wish you the best of luck!!