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Old 12-12-2008, 12:53 PM
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BatzMaru
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 5
Feeling Down

So my ABF has been home from 16 days of detox/inpatient since Wednesday. I have seen him yesterday and on Wednesday. He seems like a different person. And he's actually being more open than I thought he would be at this point as far as talking about things. Yesterday and Wednesday were good days. I was really able to detach myself enough so that I just accepted things will play out one day at a time, and was able to enjoy spending time with him while he was not nodding.

Today, not so good. I woke up with my head racing already, and I knew it was going to be a bad day for me. Then I stupidly got on the internet at work and started reading things that upset me more. Things about what most heroin addicts do while they are addicted, and also about relapse rates and how long addicts can do well before they relapse and how they themselves are often blindsided by it.

I feel foolish for being happy that the last 2 days were good. I told him I was having a bad day, but not the specifics of why, just that I was upset thinking about his addicted behaviors. We'll see if he is able to react to that in a supportive way later, or if he will just brush my feelings to the side like he did when he was using.
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