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Old 12-11-2008, 12:38 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Bamboozle
I got nothin'
 
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,889
Hi everyone.


Last night wasn't good at all...gave it my best to be sober the previous day and I was...I was feeling good. It didn't last. I can go from good to crap in a couple of minutes. Unbelievable super dooper mood swings. I can’t be happy because I can’t control it.

Started drinking in the evening even though I was really pissed off...got through about three while listening to my ipod and it completely crapped out. It just froze up and a hard reset wouldn’t fix it. No, I just couldn’t calmly set it aside to worry about it later. I beat the ever loving sh!znit out of it. It's completely destroyed. My parents heard me slamming it around and tried to get in my room...I wouldn't let them in because I was so angry. I couldn’t be around any people at the moment...I then proceeded to finish of the pack of beer.

...Just woke up. I'm still angry. If you're thinking about buying an ipod, don't. It's a cheaply made electronic. I figure I’ll just buy a cheap CD player that will last at least a year and be done with mp3 players.

I’m reading this post over and I’m laughing about my own bad behavior. I need help, but I’m intimidated by the process. I don’t know if I need a referral to go see a therapist. I’m short on cash right now. Seems like everyone around me is getting married or having babies and having holidays that they enjoy and I have to spend money to please them because it’s part of tradition (yes, I’ve been celebrating Christmas in a secular way. It used to be fun exchanging gifts)… now I hate this time of year. I’m sick of the music and the gaudy decorations and the cold weather. I’m ready for spring.

If I can’t help myself, maybe this will help someone else. If you’re thinking about relapsing, don’t. It just gets worse and it’s harder to quit again.

Sorry to crap on your spectacular thread...
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