I have that same experience all the time, cagefree. I look at this girl who went through so much shyte, was so in love with drama and chaos, so into the whole romantic-tragedy bs, so critical of everyone else AND of herself, and all her suffering........and then I can look at me, no Wonder Woman for sure but, a pretty darned good person. It's like reading a novel whose ending I'm still working on. Every day is,"What do I want in THIS chapter today? Will today be the day our heroine finally decides she will no longer 'take it' ?"