I have a couple of friends "in" the program that this reminded me of.
One just keeps going out and wonders why their life is so insane. They only hang out with people who just dont seem to want to get sober. I just got finished helping them get their things in order to get their liscense back. After about an hour we discovered that she had just recieved a letter from the RMV last October that said her liscense was revolked for 4 additional years. I felt like my best intentions were just crap. Her life seems so insane ! Was I really like that - even at the end ????
Im not even sure that she will remember the steps she needs to follow to find out if she is still unable to get a restricted liscense.
I have another friend who was around when I started going to meetings who now refuses to go to meetings, is taking ALOT of pain medication every day and is just as scattered as the other one. I was trying to help her w her computer and she refuses to pay attention, even attempt to learn anything whatsoever about what is needed to upgrade and keeps asking more and more people for advice. Every time I have what I think is the right solution or a place to buy the hardware/software she needs; she comes up w a statement like, "Well, so and so said that it could be done this way or that; but I cant do any of it myself because I dont understand all of this." They cannot figure out how to work the cable remote or even how to use voicemail on their home phone !
We had aggreed that I was going to help her and she was not going to ask the same person that screwed up her system originally. She keeps forgetting that she needs to upgrade her MAC operating system just to get her printer (that she just blindly went out and bought) working in any other manner other than an overpriced copier. I nearly snapped today and basically referred her to some place that would charge her $80/ hour rather than $20. I have spent hours looking into an operating system and hardware which is new to some degree -basically, teaching myself about it.
Is this what they mean about active alcoholics and addicts and the insanity ?
Was I like this ??
It has been mentioned to both people that they may want to consider a little thinking about what they are doing. It gets to be an uncomfortable situation every time.
They keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. They get extremely defensive. I find it so difficult to hang around them because it drives me crazy !!
I have been told that in some degrees that is a little bit of active addiction and that it is some degree of sobriety (rarely) and absolutely NO recovery.
Sorry, I probably look like a thread hijacker but I just needed to vent. Maybe this doesnt even belong on this thread. I wouldnt mind some feedback as to how to handle these situations.
Tanks