I am so sorry for how you are feeling. I know it hurts, but they are only words (as if saying that changes how you feel).
In my opinion, he is lashing out at you becasue he feels badly about himself. He had many advanatages in life and he has squandered them. In an attempt to make himself feel or at least seem like the "big man" he wants to be, he is trying to lower you. You don't deserve to be treated like that. So what where you grew up as long as you grew up...he didn't grow up.
My exabf and I both grew up in comfortable settings. We both went to private schools, college and grad school (I am still in it). His parents died, left him a lot of money and he quit working, he was a lawyer (I actually think the firm asked him to quit, but he has never admitted that). He has done nothing for the last 3 1/2 years except get drunk, go through the motions of treament (he has since quit) and make promises he doesn't keep. Recently, as we are now spilt and he has moved on to a new woman, he tells people that I was after his money. This is completely untrue. Although, it is very hurtful to me I realize that he wants to put me down and make me look bad to take the focus off of the REAL issue...HIS alcoholism and out of control behavior.
Your husband sounds like he is doing the same thing. Trying to blame you and take the focus off of himself and HIS behavior.
I know that it hurts. All I can say is that I struggle with that mean projection too. If you can maybe see that he is full of it and his goal is to bring you down because he is sick and down, then maybe you can find detachment or mental distance from the ugly words.
You deserve a real relationship with someone who builds you up.