Originally Posted by GiveLove

I finally came to realize that they'd just dealt me the hand, I didn't have to take it. And I didn't get a free pass to ruin my own life just because of them - once I could see the way I was wired, I had the power to do things to change how I thought, what I did. I didn't get to blame my cr@ppy behavior on them. It was my choice to do the things I did.

That opened up a huge new life for me.

You can have any kind of life you want. Your dad may have modeled some really bad behavior, but you can just drop it in the dirt and go your own way. If you don't want his life, don't take it. Make up your own, one that works better for you.
GL