Woke up this morning realizing that this will be the first Christmas without my father. The first Christmas in 56 years that my mother will not be writing on gifts or cards, "We love you, Mom and Dad" or their first names together on other cards. Nor will I be able to write "Mom and Dad" on the cards and gifts. In the past, even on the envelopes I often wrote "TO: my loving mother and father" as it seemed to me to be disrespectful to write their first names. My father enjoyed it when I did that. It is the first Christams I will not be able to send a card that addresses the both of them as a united couple. It is the first Christmas that my mother will wake alone and not see my father dressed in a funny mismatched outfit with a Santa hat on.
I know there will be many firsts, however it feels as if this first major holiday without him will be unbearable.
"Let me BE the change I want to see in the world."