Im losing the battle, need to tell someone how I feel
Ive lost any ability I might have had to stop drinking. not only have i been unable to stop i just keep drinking more. The more I drink the sicker I get. The sicker I get the more I drink to stop the withdrawal, anxiety and depression. I know I have to stop, I feel my body wearing down, the way I think is changing, ive been flying off the handle over ridiculous things. I keep falling and have some pretty bad bruises from some of the falls. Went bouncing down the steps and really hurt my back. Swore I would stop and picked up the next day. Been having what I think were fainting spells, but I think one of the times was a seizure, when I realized something was wrong I was on the floor disoriented and my body was shaking. I cant remember what i did most of the time. I dont really eat anymore. Im either in bed or drinking. my boss keeps telling me to stop and a minute later I open another can. The last time I passed out was at work. Thank God no customers were there, but he was all freaked out. I know he doesnt want to fire cause im a good worker drunk and all, but he might not be so forgiving in the future. I think I need to be hospitalized, but Im not willing to go at this time. I know Im killing myself slowly and I cant stop.