Thanks2HP

After approx 4 years I quit taking anti-depressants last June. Things were fine until around August. The depression was back so I started taking them again. I had a reaction to them which combined with the economic collapse put me in a high state of anxiety. I toughed it out for 3 days, going to work and acting as if things were okay. On the 4th day I had to call in sick. I reached out for help from my doctor and my sponsor. I see my doctor almost every week at my home group so he knows more about recovery than most drs. After I expressed just how bad things were he prescribed Xanax for me. I was accountable to my sponsor and took them only as prescribed which was "up to 3 times" a day. I didn't take 3 at once or even 2 at once... I only took them when the anxiety got really bad. They also helped me sleep. I was pretty much over the anxiety after I stopped taking the specific anti-depressant, waited a few days before starting a different one. I was still having a lot of trouble sleeping and took a Xanax to help me get to sleep but by then I must have built up a tolerance because it didn't help. I wasn't about to take two at once though. I had one refill left but opted not to fill it. So, for me Xanax helped me get over a very rough period but like I said, I seemed to build up tolerance quickly.

That was my experience...Now I'll share my opinion...

I've been in a situation similar to yours. Maybe not quite as bad because my DUI's were spread out over years but I remember the sinking feelings of despair as I beat myself up for "screwing up once again". I spent money on lawyers to ask for a hearing with the DMV which was a total waste of time and money. I had to suck it up and go through what I had to go through but once I surrendered to the idea and stopped fighting, it didn't turn out to be near as bad as my crazy mind told me it was going to be. I had to go through an 18 month program but even before I went to court I knew I had to go to AA, get a sponsor and work the steps. My sponsor drove several miles in the opposite direction to pick me up at 6:00 A.M. on Saturday morning for those 18 months. Somehow, and I choose to credit it to a Higher Power and the Program of AA, I made it through all that. I was about your age too. That was over 14 years ago. Again, this is my opinion only but I don't think Xanax would be a good idea in your case. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Substituting one substance (Xanax) for another (Alcohol) isn't the thing to do. The good news is that you don't have to drink ever again. It will take work on your part. I can't tell you how much life improved for me after getting a sponsor and working the steps... I had been exposed to AA before from another DUI but didn't do what was suggested. I didn't do anything and I didn't get anything.. except for physical sobriety which is better than picking up another DUI but I was essentially clueless as to how to live without alcohol. I learned how by allowing a sponsor to guide me through the steps. I don't work a perfect program but life is certainly better now than it was then.

How are you doing on going to meetings?
How are you doing as far as getting a sponsor goes?
Have you started working the steps with your sponsor?
If you have a sponsor, have you asked him what he thinks about the Xanax idea?

Best of luck finding the path that is right for you. I couldn't do it alone... I seriously doubt anyone can and achieve quality sobriety. Please reach out for help locally. I'm glad you found SR and I thank you for letting me share my experience and my opinion.

- R