you are very welcome...and welcome here..most of us have seen it, heard it or done it!! it sounds like you really want this and that is in my opinion half the battle...you have to know you are worth it and you have to want it more than anything else! i had to be just as selfish with my recovery as i was when i was drinking...funny thing is...the family doesn't mind this kind of selfishness
hang in...keep reading....keep posting...help is here...you can't get your old life back..that would be just silly...but you can have a new amazing sober life!!! one more thing...don't try to see the future...keep in the minute..keep it in the hour..whatever it takes!! KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!
big hugs
Lisa