Originally Posted by
londonvanpelt 
trombone,
I read this.."My dad is in a situation like this -- clinging to the house I grew up in, isolated out in the suburbs, refusing to consider moving closer to town, or -- god forbid -- to assisted living (which is for "old people" -- that's not him; he's only 88). My Mom died earlier this month -- but she hadn't been home in 11 months, since she went into the hospital last December. For awhile after Mom went into the hospital, I thought that maybe, just maybe, spending night after night alone in that silent house might convince Dad that it might be better to do something different. Ha! No way. The worse things get, the more intransigent he becomes -- determined to stay in that house 'til the bitter end." and just started crying. Your father doesn't want to leave his home because he knows he is that much closer to death and all his happier memories are probably in that house, along with memories of your Mom. He doesn't want to let go. My heart goes out to him.
Hey, I'd be the first to move back -- IF my Dad weren't the raging alcoholic tyrant that has been inflicting damage on me and my family for 45 years. He made his bed, and now he has to lie in it. This does not make me happy at all. But moving back there would be much worse. Can't do it. Won't do it. As I say, he's got plenty of money and could easily move to high-end assisted living, where he'd have a built-in community with all the friends you could want -- there are some great ones in the Boston area; we even dragged him on a tour a few months ago. But no -- he refuses to do it. Absolutely no willingness to budge, compromise, or consider ANYTHING other than having it EXACTLY his own way. Well, too bad -- I don't work for him anymore. I have 12-step tools to deal with his cr*p now, and he can't stand it. Again, he's got options out the wazoo, but the one he has chosen is to stay put. So be it.
T