Ginger, you're right on the nose. Setting the boundary paid off. She is not going to manipulate me! She wants things her way. No one's feelings will be considered but her own. So be it.
All this will start up again before Christmas.
"Oh, I am coming down to visit! I can't wait! I want you to have everything ready for me including already having gone shopping for all that special food that I eat, and I want you to take me where ever I want to go. I will have to take your bed while you sleep on the sofa. And, I am bringing my dog. I know that you have told me a thousand times that she is not allowed to come, but I find that horrible of you, I don't care if the landlord fines you or not! This is my baby, my dog that tears your furniture up and pees on your floor, but I love her and insist she come too.
I want you to do everything exactly the way I say and the way I want you to while I am visiting you and then maybe just maybe I will be pleased."
Sadly, she doesn't see that I don't care any more if she is pleased or not. This is why if I do talk to her any time soon, I am going to mention that I will be staying with a friend. She will have to make her holiday with her favorite family members.