Thread: Day 2, again
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Old 11-28-2008, 09:12 AM
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Fiona630
Just another day...
 
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Day 2, again

Well I slipped...I thought this last time of quitting was going to be different, but alas, I "fell off the wagon" again. I was feeling pretty good with myself. My husband had been hunting and it has been just my son and I. I wasnt drinking. Just busy with school. But then Mid october, we went out with another couple...I didnt get drunk, but I had a few beers and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. Trying to nurse my beer so I wouldnt be sucking 'em down. The night was hell, I should have just not drank at all. Then it was back to hunting and no drinking for me. I didnt miss it at all. Then the night before thanksgiving we went out again, my husband and I. It was a friends birthday and I went overboard. The binge drinking alcoholic took over. There were shots of I dont know what everywhere. Endless supply of beer. I dont know who was buying all the alcohol..wasnt me. All my will power to not drink left before I got in the car to go out...its easy to blame it on the day I was having since it was a pretty crappy day. So I got soooo drunk that my husband said around 1130 pm he actually took a beer away from me and I guess I got pretty pissed at him and that started my pissy attitude the rest of the night. I dont remember. He asked me what I was talking to some girl about a friend of his about..dont know, dont remember. Dont remember leaving. I have the "snapshots" of certain things. I do remember laying in bed with my husband and he was mad at me hollerin' at me about how I treated him and I was trying to pass out. So of course I have the complete guilt and being ashamed of how I acted...made worse by not remembering how I acted..only being able to take my husbands word on it. Ive usually been a happy drunk. So that night surprised me. My husband and I made up, sort of. I cant help feeling bad for how he says I treated him. He says to me, why cant u just slow down?! oh gee...i dont know..maybe cuz im an ALCOHOLIC!!!! He says that he is one too but he can control it when need be and I said well then ur not really an alcoholic. I cant just turn it on and off when I want to. I wish I could! THen I could be like my friends and go to the bar and only have a few beers and be fine and have fun. I have to have them all or none. Oh new years eve, trying to be sober, that will be fun.

Anyways...day 2...again...at least I wont quit trying to quit.
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