your absolutely right winnie, and i dont know who is telling you that your sons problem is a direct result of your parenting but they are craaaazzzzzy!
I am an addict myself and I remember one conversation I had with my mother back when I first checked myself into inpatient rehab and my family became aware of this problem of mine. She started crying and told me she couldnt help but wonder and think that somewhere down the road she went wrong and did something because I am a product of her and my father. I looked back at her and said as easy as it would be for me to blame you and everybody else for the sh1t in my life....whats wrong with me...is inside of me...and i have to either control it or it will control me.
Just wanted you to know that you did do the best you could and sometimes it doesnt really matter much, a person is going to do what they want to do despite what they have been taught, what morals they were raised on and what beliefs they have spiritually. I pushed away everybody in my life who wanted to help me for so long and continued in drug dealing and using until I was ready to quit for myself.
sorry i didnt mean to threadjack and specifically reply to just winnie but just wanted her to know that she isnt at fault for her sons addiction in anyway at all.