for me, it meant that i lived totallly revolving around his chaos, abuse, problems. it was like walking on eggshells all the time.....everything was about him and his reactions to any incident.
the more i tried to be a good mate, the worse everything became. i became invisible, with him becoming the bright, twisted shining light of the universe.....a very sick universe. which of course, as long as i was willing, dragged me right along on his coattails.