Lobo.....I have been a lurker on this site for a very long time and this is my first post because I read your story and could relate to it. My brother'ss girlfriend became pregnant 8 years ago while they were both using heroin. My father who was 75 at the time and who I have always known to be completely against abortion, actually gave her the money to have the abortion. He was terrified for the life that this child would have to lead. She took the money and went out on a huge drug binge with it.
She did get on methadone and my niece was born 5 weeks early and weighed 4 pounds. I will say that if your daughters counselor did not explain what it is like for a tiny infant to have to detox off of drugs, you should look into it. It is so sad and hard to watch. When they would come in and actually give her methadone orally, it broke my heart. They had to get her to a dose to calm her withdrawls and then wean her off of that which took about 2 1/2 weeks.
My parents have raised my niece since she was 10 months old (she is now 8) and her mother hasn't seen her in 4 years. Although we love her dearly, the start she had in life coupled with being abandoned by her mother leaves her a really rough road ahead.
Sounds like your daughters boyfriend isn't worth making any decisions for, but maybe his parents are scared for the life that their grandchild might have to endure. Just giving another perspective that might not have been considered.