((((((((((( sadending ))))))))))
:sorry
Please do something to help you today....reach out to a friend, go to an Alanon meeting, read a good book, watch a great movie...something to take the focus off your ex.
I am in a similar situation with my AH. He refuses to see the root of our issues is his active addiction. That is his choice. I've chosen not to be with him at this moment. I love him and I miss the man I know he could be - but not the man he IS right now. I am not reaching out to my AH but if he contacts me I will assure him that I love him and want the best for all involved. Nothing that I say or do is going to change HIM. Heck, I've spent 20 years trying....I'm one tired girl.
Please, please, please talk to someone IRL. Ask a friend to come over or just ask if you can visit them for a while. You'd be amazed at how much support you'd have if you just ask, hon....
((((((((( more hugs ))))))))