Screw loose?
Hi everyone...
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.