Good Morning! :)
Just wanted to pop in and say "Hello" and "Happy Friday" (well, and Good Morning too)! :)
wibble...Yes, you are so right. It takes me 'aback how innocently it just happened. I mean, I take FULL responsibility for my actions, but normally, there is a thought process that goes on and I mean some serious dialogue regarding whether or not I should drink and this time...it was like maybe a two line dialogue in my head and I just jumped right in. So nonchalantly. I just don't *get* how I could be so passionate about not drinking, not even really caring if I had a beer at dinner or not and JUST DID IT. I guess I am just surpised that I even questioned whether or not I wanted to have a drink when I really didn't want one 100% and hadn't even thought about it. Perhaps it was more out of habit or routine...as in that's what we do when we go out to dinner? It was the first time I'd been to a restaurant (that serves alcohol) since I'd given it up. I should've known better. I don't know, the more I write, the more I feel like I'm not making any sense! LOL
Pixie...I'm sorry you weren't able to fight the temptation last night. I know how disappointed you must feel today, as I felt that way yesterday and I'm still trying to get over it.
Something that is helping me through this process is to really identify the situations that cause me to drink. H.A.L.T. is HUGE for me! My drinking comes more out of habit and routine than anything so I feel the need to actively change things in my life and set myself up to win. That means I need to go back and work at changing the things that made me want to drink in the first place. It's such a process. This last time I relapsed was more out "ignorance" than anything. I just wasn't "on guard". Perhaps I'd felt I'd beaten the monster...I don't know. What I do know is that going forward, I am aware that the monster is always waiting...waiting for me to underestimate how much he really WANTS ME!
Have a great day everyone! :)