Thanks for the book suggestions. You actually might be on to something there. I keep telling myself that I need to use this time, that he is preoccupied with OW to get strong, so that when/if things go south, and he does try contacting me like everyone says....I will be strong enough to resist the charm/sadness. At the same time, I do feel like I am still spending a lot of time trying to figure out why he does the things he does. And I think I am doing it to make sense of it, which will never happen. But I know that I am BETTER than what I was as far as being able to function/not cry all the time, and I also know it's important to not get stuck.