Growing up with alcoholic parents stinks. Lots of things helped me (finding a therapist to talk to, learning about adult children of alcoholics--there's a whole forum here just for people like you and me--Al-Anon, journaling, this place, etc.)
But the thing that changed everything for me was finding a way to get out and get away from the chaos. I did it at 17, and it was hard, but nothing like the horror of living in the mess for so many years.
Do you have a plan? Do you have somewhere else you could go, or a plan to escape it? Even before I could leave, just having a PLAN made things more tolerable.
Good luck