I was really overwhelmed by my financial and health insurance situation today. After I managed to calm down/allow people to calm me down and think of solutions (thanks mom, sponsor, doc), and arrive at a plan of action, I had this calm moment. I thought, I should go on amazon tonight and sell some books. I have a few I can part with. It's such a painful though because I really do love my books, but I am in such an incredibly tight spot, and I want to do everything I can before I go to a food bank.
So on the heels of that thought was, You know what would make selling my books less painful, is drinking. Big bottle of wine is $10 tops.
It's going to be a little while before those thoughts stop coming round.
Reasons why drinking wouldn't help: I can't control the rate at which I drink. I would quickly lose the ability to function, period, let alone selling books on amazon. *snort* Last time I drank I made suicidal threats to my SO and it's cruel to do that to people. I just got to feeling better after the last drunk. I never want to feel like that again. It will make my depression worse. Odds are I'd black out and be scared in the morning about who I'd called, emailed, etc.
So, not drinking.