I am sorry to butt in but as a recovering alcoholic, I do not understand this either.
I have read on the F&F boards since I joined in May and I never understand the us and them stance. my husband is a normie and amusingly enough, not very codependent AT ALL and he is very much a part of recovery every day. Several of my friends are also a strong part of my recevery though they are not alcoholics, etc.
So anyway, I just do not understand all the "inside" "outside" mentality. I guess I should be glad I don't get it??