Thank you all....I found myself saying out loud, and out of the blue...I hate you. Suprised me since usually the words are I love you.
I focused on the image of me past/present/future together and filled with strength courage and love.
I've been reading from a sutra that loosely interpeted talks abut how we take the data around us and interpret it to fit what we have already decided! So the last few days I have been focusing on accepting the information that comes to me through my eyes, ears, etc. and NOT interpreting it through this belief of self-hatred that seems to be rearing it's head right now.
being able to laugh when i see the general try to scew the info seems to disapate some of it too!:ghug