Rose... thank you. This is so tough for me too. I am finally free. Have made the tough decisions to live a clean life, and I am sad and I feel like I have no self-esteem. I am young, healthy , educated .... so blessed in so many ways, but I feel like dirt. I am tired and I want to be happy and loved. I think so many of the people who responded are right... look for the small things. Also, I try to get up each and day and say, "ok, new one... let's make this one good." I listen to the radio, I smile. Sometimes I get to work and then get stressed, but I joke with my co-workers, I try to make myself reach out to others.... it's a tough road. Being with addict takes it out of you. BUT, let's think about how strong and good we are that we took care of ourselves and have done what we have so far. Hugs to you. Be strong.