C wife: I am not trying to change him. I am trying to understand because I have another sister who is experiencing this with her SO and it was a question in my mind. Some of the posts I have read helped me have an AH HA moment about certain things I was and still am blaming myself for. It is part of my nature to wonder to help me understand and grow so if I come across this again - as I was baffled by his illnesses as I got to know him but did not realize he was an addict in the beginning- I will know and get the heck out before I end up with another addict.
Sorry if I offended anyone by asking. I was thinking it was not only a place to heal and concentrate on our breaking away - which has been an education as well. Simply thought I would ask for a variety of reasons.
What am I doing personally to heal?
Going to Nar A Non and a private counselor. I have PTSD from the recent suicide of the death of the woman he cheated on me with...she was an addict too - this is part of my healing...to ask questions. So I can see the signs if it happens to my kids. My siblings. Friends.
I work out. I come here and read and have posted many thanks for the help here that has been moving me through the grief and terror I endured. I could talk about that I suppose, but I wanted to ask the more pertinent things. I talk to the counselor about the real ugly stuff i saw.
I am not trying to help him. not at all. Not anymore. Was just asking questions. Sorry.
I dont know what other medical issues he has going on. I listed the ones he had. I dont expect my knowing what they all are will change or stop him. Just needing shared experiences to help me know in the future and to answer some of the questions in my past so I know what to blame myself for. If at all.
I gave up on him. I am trying to fix me. In baby steps as recommended/