I see myself doing a lot of that lately. In this forum, and in my f2f life... and it's a trend, I've been that way for as long as I can remember. I think it's just sticking out to me now because the support of friends is one of very few things I have going for me at this point.
Why do I do that? It's like this fear kicks in and after a few days of regularly interacting I retreat into myself. I don't even want to leave my house. Then once I feel so lonely I'm going out of my mind, I have to start this slow, painful reconnecting to people who are probably thinking :wtf2 I just disappear. Usually after I feel vulnerable. I think, congratulations, good job me! And then I can't take anymore and I run. It's driving me crazy. I want to be a dependable person and I'm not acting like one, I'm not being dependable.
I wanted to post this as an apology to my SR friends who I beat a hasty retreat from, and also hoping someone can help me figure out wtf is going on? Anybody do anything similar and straighten themself out? I want to be a good friend and when it comes down to it, I don't know if I have the capacity.
